Baseball, Inc


"""Our country, as you may have heard, is tits-deep in a pretty frightening recession. It’s so bad that some have compared it to the Big D—you know, the Great Depression. Our current president, God bless him, has already demonstrated shades of F.D.R., promising to lead us through dark times with nothing more than an unwavering confidence and belief in our potential. But who’s going to buoy our national spirit when we get down in the recession dumps? Well, if the Great Depression is our best barometer, it’s probably going to be baseball.


""""Back in the 1930s, when the U.S. economy was fodder for John Steinbeck novels, baseball was experiencing a golden age. Players like Babe Ruth and Joe DiMaggio became icons, even among people who wouldn’t go to a ball game on a dare. The sport essentially became our national panacea. The world may have seemed hopeless and scary, but baseball offered the huddled masses a chance to escape and lose themselves in the exploits of larger-than-life sports heroes. So I have to wonder, will our national pastime once again become the diversion a rattled and recession-weary country needs? Will modern baseball shed its controversial reputation, ruined by years of steroids, scandals, and bloated salaries, and resume its rightful place as a proud American tradition, right up there with mom and apple pie?

There are plenty of fans in Clearwater willing to explain why the answer is a resounding “no.” Their reasons aren’t surprising: the players, even the good ones, are overpaid, egomaniacal babies who are probably all lying about steroids. Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, baseball’s latest black sheep, is a favorite target of derision among fans looking for proof that baseball is a corrupt institution, somewhere on the ethical scale between A.I.G. and the Mafia.""""

Closer to mafia, probably, says Contingencies--though pro-ball and organized crime go way back, before Pete Rose gambling scams, or DiMaggio parties at Frank Costello's night-clubs, to like Ring Lardner- days and the Black sox scandal (games are still fixed, with the outcome known in advance for the right homies at the right casinos, but the baseball racket's far more professional, smooth, inpenetrable than it was in Ring's day).

Manny Ramirez may swat as well as Ruth or McGuire, but nada mas que Mobster-in- dreadlocks (check out stats for a few of Ramirez's HRs during playoffs: that one HR in Chavez Ravine--itself Mob-built, and Brooklyn-Mob-owned--400+ ft. still rising when it smacked into upper decks). Natural talent? 'Roids? Crack? Hottie ho in Dodgerios clubhouse? Or combination, thereof.