Monday, June 14, 2010

Soccer = LAMANITE conspiracy, says the Beckster

""Every World Cup, it arrives like clockwork. As sure as the ultimate soccer spectacle brings guaranteed adrenaline and agony to fans across the United States, it also drives the right-wing noise machine utterly insane.


"It doesn't matter how you try to sell it to us," yipped the Prom King of new right, Glenn Beck. "It doesn't matter how many celebrities you get, it doesn't matter how many bars open early, it doesn't matter how many beer commercials they run, we don't want the World Cup, we don't like the World Cup, we don't like soccer, we want nothing to do with it."Beck's wingnut godfather, G. Gordon Liddy also said on his radio program,


"Whatever happened to American exceptionalism? This game ... originated with the South American Indians and instead of a ball, they used to use the head, the decapitated head, of an enemy warrior." ""

Homie G. Gordon--he's gone soft--Futbol's machismo, hombre. Now, maybe they could use Beck's decapitated head. As a Mormonic's he's an Infidel anyway (according to any tradtional criteria...even like Reasonable).  That'd make for an interesting game.  Really, American hicks and rustics detest soccer because it reminds them of all those languages they never learned.  Foo-ootbol??? like why in the f**k ain't the monkeys wearing helmets, or uniforms and pads, Bubba...

2 comments:

Meg said...

Glen Beck's head, now there's an idea. I didn't know he had one.

J said...

Good point. Beck could be just a talking 'bot created by the CIA--(Operation Zombie-mormon Republican...we're not privy to discuss the details..). What's scary is that millions of Mericans take the fat-zombie seriously.



(sry for delay in posting, Meg. I hate moderation, but w/o it, religious psychotics--of all sorts-- leave death threats here, and I got tired of deleting 'em)

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