Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Huckabilly Constitution

The latest fundie-politician to come up the pike from Dixie recently expressed his viewpoint that, like, Madison, Jefferson and Co were full of mierda: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution," Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. "But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

Really, the Huckster makes an interesting theocratic belch here. Does he mean to imply (as other comments of his indicate) that the Old and New Testaments should be considered infallible? Were Huck to win and somehow enact his Baptistocracy, the clerics would need to decide which sections of the "word of the living God" to enforce: all? some? who decides? The infallibilists would seemingly be committed to upholding the entire Bible, including the code of Leviticus, which not only features various prohibitions against the usual suspects--the adulterous, the incestuous, the queer, the heathen, etc.--but against, say, pork and shellfish eaters. Ye shall not eat of the squid of infamy! (Perhaps a more frightening theocracy would follow from a Mitt Moroni victory: not only are alcohol, coffee and tobacco banned, the Golden Plates of Nephi could appear at courthouses and other public institutions, and public schools may offer mandatory classes in Mormonic egyptian (the language of the Angel that dictated the glorious visions to Joe Smith). Musick by the Osmond phamily, and nothin' but fiery serpents for the Wicked.)

That may seem palpably absurd. Yet the Bible, Book of Mormon, and Koran are chockful of absurdities and contradiction (for one, the Kissinger-like scribes of the OT insisted on "an eye for an eye", and enjoyed contemplating the deaths of babylonian infants (see Psalm 137); while the fruitier JC yawped "forgive thine enemies"). Additionally, modern physical science--starting at least with Lyell and Darwin--obviously falsified Biblical accounts of natural history (that was reinforced with C14 dating of fossils, and other chronological techniques).

Few in the MSM, not even the so-called liberals, have challenged the Huckabee sort of enthusiasm (or the more subtle theocracy that Romneyoid promotes) nor dared to mention a Darwin or Thomas Jefferson for that matter. (both Hillary and Obama court fundamentalist churches who question Darwinian evolution and uphold Scriptural infallibility; Obama has himself questioned the separation clause of the 1st Amendment.) The predictable resentment and rage against Chuckabea from the Kossacks and the so-called left seems fairly ineffectual and tame as well. What's needed is a re-animated HS Thompson to appear on Scarsborough Kountry, in his aviator shades, sipping Wild Turkey, and while gazing at pics of the Huckabees, to solemnly intone the words: phuck those people.

1 comment:

Phritz said...


A fine old word, dating from the English civil war, and the era of the Roundheads, Levellers and other puritanical sects who insisted their own visions of the Almighty were as valid as guide to truth as logic, reason, and the burgeoning physical sciences (though catholic dogmatists also had their own sort of scholarly enthusiasm).

The FF's (and ancients as well) were well aware of the problems of the Huckabee sort of puritanical zealot who wishes to replace republican or parliamentary govt. with a populist theocracy. The entire point of the secular constitution was to prevent religious enthusiasts--xtian, catholic, muslim, or otherwise--from replacing a rational, civil government (with ye olde checks and balances--of legislature, judiciary and executive branches) with Scriptural dogma.

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