Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Best Way to Celebrate Earth Day

(from Belch.com, an occasionally amusing libertarian site. And thankfully free of the pseudo-science and feel-good corporate greenism of the Peoples of the Gore-acle)

El Pollo Gore-O

"""The very best way to celebrate the eco-religionist day of “Earth Day” is to burn up over a half-bag of charcoal to make the best tasting chicken ever.

Preparing the Grill

"""The chicken must be slow cooked. Using about 75% of the normal charcoal for grilling, spread the hot coals on two sides of the grill, leaving a large gap in the center. The chicken will cook in an aluminum pan over the cooler center of the charcoal, using the heat from the covered smoker like an oven to cook the chicken. If you have a smoker box (if you are serious about grilling, you should get one), the smoker box and your smoke chips should be placed in the center of the charcoal, touching one side of the hot coals to get the smoke started. ((Jack Daniels’ shredded Oak Barrel wood chips add a great smoke flavor of whiskey)).

Preparing the Rub

Grind together the following:
1 TSP Sea Salt
1 TSP Garlic Salt
1 TBL of finely chopped fresh rosemary
1 TSP Black Peppercorns
1 TSP Smoked Paprika

(extra Contingencies secret sauce---mucho cilantro, ground up habanera peppers, and a few dashes of Jose Cuervo)

Preparing the Chicken

Depending on the size of your grill, you may not be able to get a chicken larger than 4 pounds. Remove the giblets and rinse and pat dry the chicken. Lightly coat the chicken with olive oil. Sprinkle your rub onto the chicken and press it into the skin.

Take a can of Budweiser Beer and drink or drain a little less than half. Place a whole stalk of fresh rosemary into the remaining beer.

When the coals are hot, place a shallow aluminum pan in the center of the grill. Place the opened beer can with the rosemary in the center of the pan. Lower the rubbed chicken’s rump over the open beer can so the can and the two legs form a tripod to keep the chicken upright on the grill. Cover the grill with the lid and cook for about 1 and a half hours or until the thickest part of the thigh and breast are 175 degrees Fahrenheit. The beer will steam and flavor the chicken.

When the chicken is ready, carefully remove the chicken from the beercan. I use a fork and tongs. The beer will be extremely hot, so don’t spill it on you. Let the chicken cool for about ten minutes and serve. (Substitute mutton, or kid goat for chicken for a delightful alternative)
(Contingencies Leisure Department also recommends completing the feast with a shot or two of Jim Beam, a Punch cigar, and perhaps a few puffs of your favorite selection of chronic, with your phamily and friends. And don't fergit to support P.E.T.A. (People Eating Tasty Animals))

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